Time is definitely flying by. My nieces and nephews are older, taller, wiser and just scarily adult like. Which forces one to admit that the distance between now and that time is, well... no longer small. I'm fortunately not one of those people who is living mired in regrets, so what this does is make me think that I need to stop and soak in life as it passes by.
I don't make resolutions. I live by a certain code. And the primary code is adaptability with self evaluation constantly. The goal is to be better always. To really attain wisdom. I believe in it fully. That experience, yours and mine, theirs and our forefathers' are teaching us something daily. and the more we absorb, evaluate, put into perspective and store as a benchmark point; the wiser we get. Which is why I surprised myself at the start of 2013 by having to make a resolution.
I spent last year working. At my job and at my life. Too many things were happening and I was all I had to do them all. I worked too many hours, skipped too many lunches, and called a whole lot less people back - me, who already has a problem with getting on the phone and calling people. Getting worse at this is not the direction I wanted to head in. I justified it all. I thought that come Decemeber, I would take all this fatigue and dump it in Kenya as I visited friends and family. Except that, at the 11th hour, I cancelled that trip too. I had worked so much during the year that I couldn't leave for a reasonable amount of time without collapsing all that time investment.
Fine. It's been busy but tangibly productive. But thank goodness I overcame the very risky mental space of being fulfilled mostly by my work achievements. It's an overall collection of life. And last year, well, was productive but... I don't know. I wasn't there to figure out how this sentence ends. And after a personal assessment, I realized I had to shore up resources and get away whether the work was done or not.
I especially missed Kenya. Something I can't fully explain. Because the last time I was there I was - flabbergasted! I don't get regression. Everyone screams at me when I say this. But the new roads, all that development, is evidence of a developed government. The lifestyle, the lawlessness everywhre - on the roads, smoking in banned places, bribing and general bad manners - that is testament to a regressing fellowship. So in summary, I concluded that the leadership in Kenya was improving, but the fellowship was failing them.
Now if you're wondering how I can say this in the face of looting MPs who try to pass bills that Kenya afford to pay just to line their pockets before they leave - How I can refer to this as improved leadership? Yeah. That would be crazy. BUT, you all caught it before it happened, and your voices averted the worst of it. Leadership is about the checks and balances - because we can't control other human beings. Fellowship though, is what the majority has to do. Constantly make a decision to do right, to obey laws - traffic, anti smoking, drinking hours, sexual maturity age - just to name a few. That's for everybody. Be they elected leaders or not.
One of those nights in Kenya, I was out late, the past midnight late. And speaker Marende was sitted somewhere across from where I was. With a girl I hoped was his daughter. She looked about 16. Could have been older but seemed very young. I said something to those I was with. Long story short - only person concerned was me. No one cared. At all. Not even about the two GK vehicles at the two entrances with the body guards - all taxpayer money being abused. And especially not about this young girl. And I realized that Kenyans need to rekindle an emotion. But first, the moral lines must be re-identified, shouted from the rooftops and opinions formed, debated, discussed - so that consequence for all actions can be restored.
There's no success without order. And order is a direct product of people being able to match action with consequence. It's a whole lot easier to type these feelings and thoughts than it is to feel them and I'm sure to activate them. But it is my prayer that something will be activated. Value and principles and a collection of ideas that define people. because all that is where peace abounds. And prosperity. And accountability. The things many of us want for and from Kenya.
Vote wisely and God bless!